How many of us repeated those words way back when we were committing to a life together?
The interesting thing is that when we get to an age where we deserve to be sitting back and enjoying our relationships without all the worries that played a part in our younger years, many find they don’t seem to have a huge amount in common.
We regularly hear stories of couples experiencing frustration and discontent with each other at the very time when the lack of pressure was expected to bring with it contentment.
A major reason for this seems to be that we don’t plan, discuss and agree on what we want our relationship and importantly our life to be like when one, or both parties cease full time work. So is it any wonder that many find themselves under each other’s feet or irritated by the ‘little things’?
What better time is there than prior to this juncture to have some really clear goals of how you want to live together – this certainly doesn’t mean living in each other’s pockets. In fact by planning experiences to enjoy together whilst also clearly mapping out what you wish to do separately can lead to far greater satisfaction. By understanding what each other wants can certainly enhance your relationship as it allows for the opportunity of providing mutual support so each can explore goals that are important to them. This doesn’t become a ‘tit for tat’ scenario (you played golf so I’m having lunch with the girls!) rather it is based on a genuine desire to encourage each other to pursue their interests.
Those exiting full time employment today could potentially (and hopefully) have 30 or 40 more years together – how important is it to ensure that this time is rewarding, meaningful and fun!
It astounds me to hear that ‘Grey Divorce’ is the fastest growing group who are deciding to go their separate ways………..what a waste. How much better would it be to start planning and sharing ideas in order to not only enjoy but enhance this time in your life.
The biggest issue seems to be that assumptions are made along the way, rather than ideas sought as to what we want from our relationships. Often time we hear women who have spent time out of the fulltime paid workforce complaining that they are expected to completely change their lifestyle to accommodate their ‘shadow’ – the husband who has left work or scaled down and now is spending considerable time at home. Conversely we hear similar stories of disappointment from the husband who has that, after working hard all his life, had an expectation that they would be spending most of their time together. This tends to stem from the fact that there has been a real lack of open communication and planning. I can’t encourage you enough to dedicate the time required to really explore this concept. Make your time ahead together truly meaningful as you happily encourage each other to do their ‘own thing’. By doing so you not only have a meaningful future together, you will also find yourself prepared and able to fully enjoy your time going forward if ultimately, m